Typically, when a moron like Cesar Millan abuses a puppy like he does in the episode on Tobi and Riley, he doesn’t put it on video, where he might be liable for prosecution for animal abuse. He takes the dog to his “compound” and does the choking in private. I obviously underestimated his stupidity. He does this on film all the time. Most choke chain thugs like “The Dog Whisperer” are too stupid to understand anything else but brute force. But you’d think National Geographic wouldn’t be quite as stupid as their trainer?? Obviously, they have a fine legal team at natgeo.

Like most thug choke chain trainers, Cesar claims he only uses his abusive methods on “problem dogs” who will otherwise be euthanized if they aren’t trained. This is because that’s what it says in the 1962 book that Cesar Millan stole his whole method from. That book is called The Koehler Method of Dog Training. The Mein Kampf of dog training books.

Well….Riley the scared Saint Bernard puppy he is abusing in the video above is afraid to go up steps. Typical minor puppy problem and one that can easily be fixed without force by a two year old, much less a brilliant non idiot trainer such as Michael T. Patton aka “the General.” But the idiot Cesar Millan has no idea how to solve this issue without dragging and choking a 100 pound puppy by the throat. UnbeFreakingLievable!!

But this is good! Good for me anyway. It just opens up the door. Opens up the door, FOR ME. And if it wasn’t wide open anyway, I’d knock it down because there will be no stopping the advance of “The General” aka Michael T. Patton as he blows up and makes his mark on the dog and puppy training world in 2010.

Thank you Cesar. Thank you for being a moron. It is a great career move. For MY career. Thanks, bud.